This year I have discovered a wonderful, inspiring author and motivator. Her name is Rachel Hollis and if you haven’t read her books . . .
Girl Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be; or
Girl Stop Apologizing: A Shame Free Plan for Embracing and Achieving Your Goals
I recommend you add them to your reading list during this time of quarantine due to COVID-19. That’s right, pull out your Kindle or log in to your Amazon account and order them now!
Rachel Hollis is a 36-year-old self-made woman. In each book she shares her story of ups and downs, setting goals, stumbling, visualizing and ultimately making her dreams come true by being unabashedly herself, owning her junk, and taking daily action. Her path wasn’t always easy or pain free, but she persisted.
Although I am old enough to be Rachel’s mom, I found her work and some of the tips she shared golden. Some of my fav Hollis words of wisdom include:
“Keep the promises that you make to yourself.” What this means is that when we make plans with a friend we keep them, but when for example, we plan to exercise after work or when we plan to do something else for ourselves, we don’t necessarily keep those promises or commitments. If a friend calls and asks us out or if our boss asks us to work late, the promise or commitment we made to our self is out the window. This has been a really helpful reminder to me. Thinking of it as breaking a promise to myself when I don’t follow through with commitments makes me think more seriously about throwing my plans and goals out the window. My commitments to myself are actually promises to myself, which deserve to be kept.
“Goals are like dreams with their work boots on.” I like this because it reminds me that achieving my goals will take work and action steps not just visualizing (but visualizing helps too).
Rachel talks about owning your dreams. Allowing yourself to dream big. Trusting that you are “enough” to succeed. This also reminds me of a poem by Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Or deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world…”
Rachel Hollis elaborates on this sentiment and discusses how women can sometimes feel undeserving, or less-than. In her book, Girl Stop Apologizing, Rachel challenges us to own our dreams and to own our power. She has also created a journal called “Start Today” which tracks some of the steps she has used in achieving her goals. I am loving her journal and am just about to finish my second one. It has become part a wonderful part of my morning ritual. This process has kept me laser beam focused on my gratitude and where I am going. Plus, I have made some really good movement towards actualizing my dreams and goals.
Rachel challenges us to let go of all excuses. Because, let’s face it, we have all made a plethora of excuses for why we are not pursuing our goals. One of my favorites is that “I don’t have the time…oh poor, martyr me…I am so busy.” Rachel challenges her readers to take responsibility for their choices. Rather than saying we don’t have the time, she confronts her reader by saying, “Being overscheduled? That’s on you. She challenges her readers to spend 5 hours a week working on their goals. She said something like, “You don’t find time, you make time for what is important.”
I highly recommend both of Rachel Hollis’ books and her Start Today Journal as a way to stoke the fires of your desire and to make those dreams come true. Of course, if you find that you are stuck and need extra assistance in dismantling your roadblocks. I am here to help. Therapy can be a great way to work through those stubborn issues that may be holding you back.
Kim Scott, LMFT is a psychotherapist in Granada Hills, CA www.kimscottmft.com 818-309-7780.